So you have an interesting concept, and I like that you've clearly put a lot of work into the lore of the world you've created. That being said, the prologue has a lot of info and it was honestly a bit much. There's a lot of titles and ranks thrown in very quickly along with a lot of lore that makes the opening paragraphs feel very dense. The descriptions that paint the picture of the creation of the universe are also very verbose, but the sentences often cut off very abruptly so that they don't flow very well and give off a sort of awkward feel when reading it.
As for grammar, it's pretty good, but the punctuation for dialogue was inconsistent, so I'd suggest another look at that. Other than that, there's a few tense changes, and some typos. I usually recommend another look over just to smooth things out.
The wording does get a bit awkward at times like: "grunted his own cerebral disturbance." I'm just not sure what this means and because it made me pause it took me out of the story. Or: He especially picked at Gabriel, poking him and being cruel to his equally cruel and manipulative ways." It's a very redundant sentence and I'm not sure what you're referring to.
There's also not a clear focus on characters. We're introduced to Haniel, and he gives us more info, we meet their teacher, then Dagiel and hear his thoughts, then we jump to Gabriel, etc. We jump around a lot, but there's no indication on who we're meant to focus on, and it makes things hard to follow when we switch POV's so much. We also get introduced to a lot of concepts and terms, but without space lo let all the new information breathe, it also becomes hard to follow.
Another thing is there isn't a lot of descriptions on the setting. There doesn't really need to be a lot of detailed info on where they are, but there should be something to give readers an image of where things are taking place.
The chapter ends very abruptly and doesn't really set much up for the next chapter. It needs a hook, something to make readers want to read on. Personally, I'd get rid of the prologue and start with chapter one while slowly introducing the lore and terms.
The first chapter also has a lot of info, but some of it feels disjointed. Like, we get some names dropped when Haniel takes out his cards and he tells us things about these angels, but that's stuff Dagiel should know, so it feels awkward to have it in a conversation. Then we sometimes get explanations about what they're talking about, like "sheeting", but it comes a bit too late. Also wanted to point out, at the start you have Haniel walking up to Dagiel and slapping him on the shoulder, but then you say Dagiel walked over to Haniel, so I was a bit confused about that.
Again we have some places where it's hard to follow who we're focusing on. Like when Gabriel boards the blimp, then we have Uriel talking to him, then we jump back to Haniel, but we don't get told this is Haniel talking, and I only realized this because he talks about Dagiel leaving. Throughout that whole paragraph he is not referred to by name, only "he". Coincidentally, we also get every sentence starting with the same word, "he" and it gets very repetitive and cuts the flow along with the lack of variation in sentence structure. It just feels a bit like a list of his actions.
We don't get a lot of Haniel's thought process. Instead we get that things he sees and does and hears along with a lot of information that isn't really crucial, but we don't get a lot of how he feels about things or why he feels that way. There's also a lot of time jumps and it's a bit jarring, to be honest.
The next part we get where Haniel is on Earth(I think?) is odd. I wasn't sure what was going on as we suddenly leave his POV and see what feels like more lore building, then we go back to Haniel and it's a bit unclear, but I'm guessing he passed his test and was sent to Earth. So, a lot is happening, but it's all very fast and we're not being given the info that's important while being given a lot of info that isn't immediately relevant to understand the story. Because we spend a lot of time being told all this about the world, the lore, and the immediate actions of the characters, we're not getting shown a lot about who these characters are and it makes it hard to form a connection to them, especially as there are a lot of characters being introduced in two chapters.
Another thing to point out is that the impact of the truth of what Axia is kind of got lost because I hadn't connected with the characters and was still trying to follow what was going on. The last exchange between the characters was interesting because it felt like we finally got a look into who they are. The chapter does end a bit abruptly though, and even though I know there's a lot going on, there's nothing to tease what's going to happen or what I should look forward to.
Again, I think the concept is interesting, the lore is cool, but needs more spacing out. To me it feels like you deeply care about this project and are excited to tell the story, but in telling us the story, you need to keep in mind that we don't know this world or characters the way you do. I want to know who these characters are, who Haniel is and more of his connection with Dagiel, and why I should root for them. Also, the Proto-Men and monsters sound interesting, they sound like a threat and I'd like to see how the angels deal with that. Basically, show us who these characters are before you tell us about the world and let your story breathe a bit. Readers on Tapas want quick reads they can binge and characters they can cling to and you have a lot of characters with a lot of potential.