Hello! So I did my initial read through of chapter one and it was a nice way to set the scene and introduce the characters. I like that we don't go too in depth as to who they are, instead slowly getting some details through their conversation. It's a nice way to have readers want to keep going, if only to learn a bit more of what's going on and who these people are. The ending was a great cliffhanger to leave things at, and I'm glad that you cut back on some of the more elaborate descriptions at the end if only to better show the rapid pace at which things happened.
There's little issues with grammar/punctuation I noticed, so I'd take another look at that, particularly as far as dialogue goes with things being capitalized or not capitalized when they should/shouldn't be. There's a couple other things that shouldn't be capitalized, like champagne and the word darkness in the fourth paragraph. I'd also look over the use of the em dash (β) vs the en dash(-) but I think you can't even type the em dash on Tapas. Last bit as far as grammar goes is the artists' names used which should be Van Gogh and Da Vinci.
So, the writing itself is pretty good, just some spots read a bit oddly because of the odd--almost poetic--structure of it. I understand what you're going for, but it doesn't always work. The biggest thing I would suggest though, is cutting back on some of the more elaborate descriptions. They can be great at times as a way to set the scene, but when there's too many it weighs down the story and sort of slows the pace. The first paragraph, for example, is heavy with the mood you're building, but there's so much buffer around the point you're trying to make that it can get lost at times.
Also, I found this line funny:
We emerge from the parking garage like some species of metallic groundhog.
I dunno, maybe I'm just weird but it kinda took me out of the mood because the picture it painted was jarring in the context of the style/mood you were setting up. Full disclosure though, I do watch a lot of videos of groundhogs and marmots, so I had that on my mind too.
One last thing about formatting, is the spacing is a bit odd, which I know can be the site's fault so just check that out if you can. And now on to chapter two!
Okay, so the part where she's in the hospital and under sedation is interesting because I see what you're going for. There's this sort of chaotic, flowy mess of thoughts that represents the chaotic, flowy mess that are the MC's thoughts. I'd give that large paragraph a once over because there's some mistakes/typos there and I do find some of the wording/structure affects the flow. Maybe cut it into two paragraphs as well, because it does get a bit big and I'm reading on a desktop.
Small thing to point out but in the part about Kattar's mother praying it should be incantation. The part about her words being a trilingual sob was nice though!
The little break we get after the initial hospital scene is odd. I'm sure it's there for a reason, but at the moment it just slows the pace and the tension built sort of fizzles out when we read about what I think is a dream sequence.
In terms of punctuation, it's a bit of the same as the last chapter, so just take a look at that, particularly as far as em dash usage and dialogue punctuation goes. Your narrator/MC has a strong voice, but it's also a bit odd and I couldn't really put my finger on why until the end of the second chapter when she wakes up in the hospital bed.
So, it's a first person POV which means we should get a lot of what the narrator is feeling, but most of the time we're reading about what she's seeing and physically feeling. We don't go too in depth as far as her thoughts go, but when we do it's a lot about what she notices or what something reminds her of instead of what she feels and thinks about the things happening to her. In a way, she's a bit of a passive character, but I did like the mention of the guilt she already feels in regards to the accident.
Final thoughts are that it's good! You've set up some interesting conflict to be developed in the story. To me, and this is entirely a taste issue, the poetic sort of style does feel like a bit much in some parts. The pace and flow feel bogged down by these descriptions that sometimes feel out of place. It's a first person POV, so the voice should feel like the thought process of a character, but it feels very much like written prose instead. I think some of your descriptions are nice, but I'd just be wary on how they affect the tone, pacing and flow of the story.
Anyway, hope this helps, and I do think it's an interesting read with a lot of potential!