I'm not sure that I can add anything to the conversation. Pretty much everything's been said that can be. I read some BL, though not much, as I tend to like romances, and romcom's and there simply aren't that many on Tapas that feature a straight couple, so I have to get my fix somewhere. The ones that don't use tired tropes from Bernice Smalls or Jane Austen are non-existent.
Yes, I'm a straight man that loves to read romance. Deal with it. But, what I consider to be a great romance doesn't necessarily jive with what most people presume when they think romance. The meet cute is great and all, but the meat is in the emotional fervor and hero paradox. The ethics questions that surround relationships fascinate me. And yes, 50 Shades of Grey would have been a police procedural had the main character been poor.
And so, I may see BL differently than some, or most, I don't know. But, and this is only my half-formed opinion, it seems to me that the popularity of BL in general has to do with the very real social constraints placed on women. It's much like female singers in the west, they're allowed to be emotional, broken, and wild. Men are not allowed in the west to display their jelly-belly. I think, as a rule, in eastern cultures where sexually aggressive women are more than frowned upon, much the same is true of women. I think these cultural taboos leave great heaps of what people really are to stick out in lumps. In short, when you repress something, it doesn't go away. It comes back all crazy-like and f*cks some sh*t up.
For the most part I see BL as acting out female fantasies and desires with male characters. From this perspective, it makes sense that they're often homophobic, misogynistic, and often vehemently opposed to GL, because our culture is homophobic, misogynistic, and often vehemently opposed to GL. That, I think, both western and eastern cultures share. In fact, it's rare to find cultures that are not openly misogynistic, but that doesn't mean that humanity is naturally misogynistic. There are documented cultures, some west, some east that aren't, most notably in the pacific islands and southern China that have been studied by anthropologists. Some north american aboriginal cultures could lay claim to that title as well. Africa has been so wrought with war and colonization that it's hard to define culture outside of colonial influence. South america I simply haven't studied, but some of their myths and rituals are interesting and I might get around to it eventually.
In those cultures third genders are often normalized into the language and the concept of a polar sexuality doesn't exist. But, I digress, as I'm getting off topic.
It is not only very possible, but very likely that the target demographic is openly homophobic and misogynistic. Consider Phillis Schlafly in the US, or Marine Le Pen in France. Both women and both deeply misogynistic. There is a cultural revolution going on in the west, and I suspect, in the east. It's been going on for decades. It won't end any time soon. Because of that, I think BL is a safe outlet for desires that are deemed too risky to engage. In that way I think BL is valuable. It allows people to explore who they are without pregnancy, much like the pill did for generations prior. Only BL is safer. It's on a page. No one gets hurt. It may amplify some unhealthy choices, that's true, but I don't, and can't see it as in any way evil or deserving of contempt. There is some great art and really touching moments in BL, if one only dares look for them. And I mean art in the sense of an illustration that connects with the viewer and shares something uniquely human.