I have some slight dissent, but I'll endeavour to try and explain as best I can so I'm not misunderstood.
There's a difference between solicited and unsolicited, between useful and useless, critique, and this should be noted; creators are never required to listen to anyone or take any feedback whatsoever. It's always tempting to couch it in encouragement or to say criticism helps development, because that gives it an innocuous, even helpful, premise. And sometimes it's true -- there's plenty of critique (to be distinguished from just criticism, which is most often not useful or innocuous) that can be useful to a creator...if they find it useful and relevant. If it's nothing you can use, throw it out. Plenty of creators know what they need to work on, and they get there by themselves, through personal analysis. And when it boils down to it, I tend back to the old adage of, if nobody asked you and you don't have anything nice to say...maybe it's better not to say anything at all.
Though as I've pointed out before, it's almost always more useful to ask people what they like about something, what they feel is done well, because it keeps the dialogue more positive and forces them to come up with something more constructive; people easily find things to complain about, things they don't like, but it's often just the conveyance of an opinion without any utility to it. If creators only discard what someone says they don't like, eventually they won't have anything left that is their own. If, on the other hand, they keep and develop what people enjoy, that's a very constructive, positive way they can move forward.
Additionally, with most creators, it's impossible to think of their series objectively. This is a labor of love. People don't work over half their days, eating up free time and leisure, oftentimes for free, with anything they can easily become objective about; there's a real emotional investment in most comics, or at the very least a need to express through them.
Respect is important, but respect is not something doled out by default when the first interaction a person has with you is a negative one. It's not really reasonable to attempt to isolate the oftentimes ugly, petty, or simply ignorant attacks -- and they are attacks -- on BL comics and their creators, separating the comments from the entire environment in which they were presented. Sure, some of these people may genuinely have improvement in mind for these creators, but in that environment? They need to try a little harder if that's the case.
I agree that people should definitely do the reading, the research, the talking too if they can -- but at the same time, as a gay dude that came of age in the 90s gay culture...don't drown yourself in it. At the time, everything was largely so limited, so homogenized (irony!), because of an insular quality entirely shut inside popular gay culture. When Japanese comics with gay characters became super popular, it was like a breath of fresh air: finally, we could enjoy stories of gay men with a variety of personalities, motivations, and above all, they had more realistic-sized certain anatomical features; men in the Japanese comics weren't all cartoonily super-buff, they weren't all Tom of Finland derivatives, they could be pretty or elegant or emotional. Everything, finally, didn't revolve around the same tired standards we'd seen for decades in the gay creative landscape.
So yes, don't disrespect what you're writing. Don't turn gay guys into a fetish or an object for your amusement. Absolutely don't deny them human rights because all you believe in is your dream-homos, because that's gross. That's exploitation. At the same time, don't chain yourself to them, to the exclusion of your own experience in life. Personal experience and perspective makes every story so special and different. I actually do want to see more stories where young women imagine gay men's lives and relationships, based on not only their knowledge and research, but also from their thoughts and fancies, even daydreams, of what that might be like. I want to see their feelings on the page, putting themselves into the characters and situations and how that might feel, in a relationship that is so like what they know or might want to know, yet also very different.
For that matter, I'd like to see more stories involving gay characters done by straight men too! By anyone of any gender. I'm fascinated by what other experiences and perspectives bring to the telling of these stories. It's remarkable to me.
It brings us together as people. And I like that very much.