@AnnaLandin The problem is if I say "I'll update on this day" I can't promise that. Changing the day will do nothing. The best option is to just say, "I'll post whenever I can".
When it comes to doing other things. Not that I can do. I already had to pack my books up and put them in storage in preparation for going to India. However that was months ago and my visa has been denied 3 times already... so I've gone far longer than expected waiting to leave the country. I would only rather go fishing, but that's not possible to do. There is nowhere close I can go do that.
@indagold
Again, I cannot go see a therapist. I don't have the money. One session is 200$. ATM all the money I have goes to student loans and food and my phone (which isn't much), and my credit cards for a laptop and paying off the move last summer from Florida to Colorado. Hotlines did nothing for me. I don't fucking work as fast as you. Thanks for rubbing it in that I'm slower than you. I pencil and Ink by hand on 11x17 and I put quality over quantity. I take my time to make sure my stuff meets my goals if it takes me 20hours to ink a page, so be it.
@alaingrey
It's more of an aversion to food in general due to so many bad experiences with it. There are a lot of foods that make me sick. I have Celiac's (officially diagnosed, not a self thing) as well as intolerances to shellfish, milk, and pork. Celiacs is an autoimmune disease where if I eat things with gluten, like wheat, rye, barley and some oats, my body immune system goes haywire and attacks itself. It causes inflammation, cramps, swelling, all kinds of issues. My family doesn't believe the doctors and continues to buy things with wheat in them and so I don't eat much, yet I'm still over 200lbs from the stress and celiacs. People judge me in the store buying gluten free things and tell me I don't need a diet, but it's not that I'm trying to diet, I'm only eating what I can eat. I can't eat the wheat version of things. When I buy my own food, it's things like veggies and fruits and fresh meats, but that's expensive, so I can never buy a lot at one time. Eventually I get hungry enough and eat the wheat stuff anyway. I spent a very long time sick 3 or so years ago because the doctors kept telling me it was IBSD and heartburn. It took me 6 months to prove to them it wasn't. I had to go to a nutritionist and do a elimination diet to finally find all the problems.
I can't handle those things in addition to spicy/heavily spiced foods. I can't handle processed foods that you would put in a microwave. So my food is incredibly limited. I HATE eating and it's a chore to me. But I honestly will sit at my desk and never think about food, at all. So while I look overweight, it's not because I eat a lot, it's not fat, it's all inflammation and water weight from my autoimmune disease. Unless I can get into a position I can get gluten free foods all the time, anytime I get glutenous foods, I'll continue to get sick. I don't have family support. Not at all. The mere action of being in an art career has made them refrain from helping me. I'm on my own financially. I can't afford even a 70$ appointment to my doctor and so I can't afford a rehab.
@69Erocento
A time to draw for me sounds absolutely amazing. I haven't done any real personal art in a LONG time. I have plenty of things I want to draw but never do because the guilt. I know it would be nice to take a day for me once a week.
@agentfink
That is true... even professionals take time off.
@JessJackdaw
I've already been on that edge once before. In my senior year of college I was almost medically withdrawn by the staff because my health was so shitty. I was in the middle of my senior thesis, and I was NOT well liked at the college because I didn't paint or have a "cute" style or a "realistic" or "semi-realistic" on. Many of the students were incredibly catty. At the same time, the school had a failure and 1/3 of the campus lost everything on their server... and I was one of them. I was put in a place I had to do many finals over the weekend that the first time around had taken me weeks.
The work is a coping mechanism because I was treated like shit until I was 17. I moved off to college and was treated like shit by my classmates and bullied STILL. I'd been bullied all throughout High School because I moved a lot and was always the new kid. (military family) I moved back into my family house and I'm still being treated poorly in an emotional sense. Not physically anymore, but emotionally it's still the same. It IS worse. I have 200$ in my bank. Just to walk into the doctor is 70$, not counting any treatment she'd do. I literally cannot afford to go see her. I already owe 90K+ to the government, I owe 2k on a credit card from moving and my laptop that had suddenly died on me and needed replacing. I'm NOT going into more debt to see a doctor. My family will not help me go see a doctor because "I've mad bad life choices going into art so I have to handle my own life and mistakes".
@ScampiCub
Hotlines did nothing for me, I've tried that. All they say is to go see someone else and to take breaks. I know I need breaks, I just can't convince myself to take one. I have no method of transport and I don't live in a city. That's not possible to go see anyone or GO anywhere. I kept a journal, but I stopped writing in it because it made me feel worse to write it down and think about it all.
@vincentprendick
I have been a procrastinator before and it was horrible. I felt so bad and when I finally started working and getting stuff done, I loved the feeling of people seeing work posted, especially if it was a commission they paid for. I guess the best way to describe it is that I'm addicted to that feeling of someone being happy by my posting stuff. Seeing someone react after waiting for a commission or comic page makes me happy. I know someone gives a shit because my family doesn't. They hate the fact I do art. So having people react online well is such a nice change to what I see day to day at home.
I've never gotten to the point I needed surgery, but also had the doctors interfere once while in college. I too feel at my best when creating, but I don't want my career to suffer just because my body can't keep up.
@demthorshie
I have a horrible financial situation. I have 200$ in my bank account. I have an 800$ student loan payment due on the 4th, a 80$ payment due on the 12th and a 90$ payment due on the 14th. I don't get enough offers to be choosy about which I accept. I'd get another job, but I have no method of transport. That's the sad part of all this, as much as I work, I'm barely making it. You can only access that healthcare if you have transport. I don't.
@Shanny8
To make friends you have to leave your house and go places. I don't have transport and I don't live in a city. I wouldn't expect anyone to pick me up and take me somewhere. I'd not be able to pay for gas if they did that, so I won't do that to anyone. I have a comic shop I used to go to all the time, but with no car, it's hard to go there now. I have no plans to quit making comics. I'm made for this, so I'll keep going.